Today it was made public that our beloved Natalie Portman (and I say this collectively because everyone loves her) is set to produce and star in the film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - a NY Times bestseller and a 21st-century attempt at making OUR beloved (another truth universal) Austen story bearable to the nonliterary (or ADD) public.Earlier this year, I reprimanded the book. I was outraged. But I didn't feel solid enough in my disdain. I didn't want the blatant idea of it to be enough to deter me, I had to read the book for myself. (Pride and Prejudice is, and remains, one of my favourite stories of all time.)
I must admit, it was funny. (Especially the first proposal scene which instead of an "uncivil" argument, turns into a throwdown and Lizzy slams Darcy against the corner of the mantelpiece - extreme!) Zombies - the "unmentionables" - are added to create another motive for women to be "accomplished" - being well trained in the art of ancient Asian-style combat. But it isn't Elizabeth's wit or beauty or conversation that attracts Darcy as in the original (though it is implied she has all these things), but rather her unparalleled ability to fight and kill the zombies (in one scene she takes out three ninjas and eats one of their hearts). And so, the primary problem I have with this book is that we lose most of the Elizabeth we love - her charm and her witty remarks often replaced with scenes of spearing heads and round-house kicks.
Quirk books, the publishing house that has been twisting these Austen classics (the next is Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters), is admittedly ingenious. Spinning old, public prose with a preserved fan base is the best publishing ploy I've seen in a long time.
Reading it, I always thought it would make a great modern movie, and figured it was only a matter of time. And now PORTMAN - a Princeton grad, a respected actress, usually doing serious roles - has decided to take on the film. WTF! I am so torn, I both love and hate this at the same time. In any case, I will definitely see this. Johnny Depp as Darcy? Please!
